The Ultimate New Year’s Resolution: Self-Acceptance

Welcome to 2012!!

This is a time that prompts self-reflection because we are conditioned to think about New Year’s resolutions. You will see the number of gym memberships increase, along with articles about setting goals and making changes. However, the reason why these resolutions tend to fade away after a few weeks is that they often start from a place of unhappiness. You may decide to change something about your appearance, finances, career, relationships, friendships, or anything else of a personal or professional nature; however, consider how those changes begin – by thinking about how unhappy you are about those aspects of your life.

The desire to change is good!! If you want to make a lasting change, if you really want to create a resolution that you can stick with, try the ultimate New Year’s resolution: self-acceptance. Decide right now that no matter what conditions are present in your life or who you are or who you’ve become – you accept yourself. This includes accepting anything you may consider a flaw or problem or issue. Right now, today, self-acceptance without conditions or limitations. This is who you are.

Does self-acceptance mean that this is the best you will ever be? Absolutely not!! You always have a choice to do something different or create a new future for yourself. Any changes you make will likely occur when you realize that you are doing it because it will make you feel good – that it is something you want to do instead of something you should or have to do. Do you see the difference? Decide to set a goal because it is exciting to you, it will be a new adventure and provide you with an opportunity to challenge yourself and create a new pathway for your life – personal or professional. When you approach any type of change or goal from the viewpoint of enhancement or enrichment you’ll attach strong, positive emotions that will outlast fear, failure, and a sense of internal rejection.

Try this approach to creating new goals and change:
2012 This Year, I am...
I am happy with who I am – regardless of where I am or what circumstances surround me or my life.
I am willing accept where I’m at and know that my future is my choice.
I am going to do something new this year, something I know will make me happy and challenge me to learn something new or grow in some way.
I am able to set a goal because I feel good about it and know that it will be an enjoyable adventure.
I am going to measure my progress by how I feel and not what others think about me.

I am going to use any perception of fear as a friendly reminder:
Friends, family – there is always someone in my life that supports my progress and will lend an ear when I need it.
Enjoyment – do what I want to do because my future is limited only by the restrictions I place on it.
Anxiety – is a result of looking at where I’ve been instead of where I am going.
Relax – progress occurs through self-paced steps and I am in control of my future.

Wishing you a new year of renewed self-discovery, unlimited progress, and continued self-acceptance,
Dr. J